Espanol

Do not ever go to a restaurant and insist on only using your limited Spanish, if you happen to be a native English speaker whose knowledge of Spanish stopped in eighth grade. Sure, you could conceivably say things such as "ensalada por favor," "pollo de chipotle," "arroz," "donde esta el bano" and, my favorite, "yo trabajo en un banco." Maybe you could even fool a few people. But not yourself. 

Do not refuse to speak in English, or act offended if someone tries to speak English to you. And by no means should you fill in your lack of knowledge of your adopted language by making up whatever words you didn't know.

If you disobey my instructions until the restaurant brought in a genuine Spanish speaker to communicate with you, you should most definitely not act offended and indignant that the Spanish speaker does not recognize your made-up words.