FML -- It's not only overused but overexagerated. That the check-out line at Wal-Mart is long or you have to work late today is not a justification to F your entire L.
Le sigh -- I get it, you're frustrated with something, but and you want to come across as vague and semi-cultured. Find a way to express your disappointment that doesn't employ cliché Frenglish. Go for a Jane Austen quote instead.
Stat -- You need something fast, sure, but you want to be a little creative so you pretend like you're on season 1 of ER and pull out the ol' "stat." Stop using it stat.
Said -- Referring to something you mentioned a sentence or a paragraph ago, you make with the lawyer speak and refer to said subject with a device that got old shortly after Mallrats introduced it 15 years ago.
Awesome -- I am guilty of awesome kill more than anyone. The word has been sapped of all meaning over the years, has no punch either as an adjective to praise or ironically denigrate something and now only means that something exists. What's that? You're going to continue calling everything awesome? Awesome.
Showing posts with label arizona state legislature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arizona state legislature. Show all posts
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
New Laws The Arizona State Legislature Should Consider
-Ban Burritos: Keep them around and you'll never get rid of those pesky Mexicans. It's like milk bowls and stray cats.
-Fund Robotic Hand Cannon Program: Every citizen will have a semi-automatic robotic arm cannon with a silencer and rocket launcher capabilities fused to their dominant appendage.
-Forbid Health Care: Not only will Arizona ignore federal health care reform, but health care will not be allowed in any form whatsoever, in order to protect our Constitutionally-mandated right to die of pneumonia.
-Burn Every Public School To The Ground: The vacant land will be used for shooting ranges. And as an added bonus, this won't cause significant harm to our No. 49 in ranking education.
-Recognize George W. Bush As President Forever And Ever: He may not have been perfect, but at least he's got an authentic birth certificate and didn't choose to infringe on our civil liberties. Well, except for that whole Patriot Act thing.
-Ban Gibberish Languages: This is America, dammit, so speak American or go back home to your stupid country. Correct grammar and spelling optional.
-New Official State Bird: The Illegal Immigrant-Spotting Police Helicopter will replace the cactus wren.
-Fund Robotic Hand Cannon Program: Every citizen will have a semi-automatic robotic arm cannon with a silencer and rocket launcher capabilities fused to their dominant appendage.
-Forbid Health Care: Not only will Arizona ignore federal health care reform, but health care will not be allowed in any form whatsoever, in order to protect our Constitutionally-mandated right to die of pneumonia.
-Burn Every Public School To The Ground: The vacant land will be used for shooting ranges. And as an added bonus, this won't cause significant harm to our No. 49 in ranking education.
-Recognize George W. Bush As President Forever And Ever: He may not have been perfect, but at least he's got an authentic birth certificate and didn't choose to infringe on our civil liberties. Well, except for that whole Patriot Act thing.
-Ban Gibberish Languages: This is America, dammit, so speak American or go back home to your stupid country. Correct grammar and spelling optional.
-New Official State Bird: The Illegal Immigrant-Spotting Police Helicopter will replace the cactus wren.
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