Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Our 2009 Christmas letter

Dear friends, family and mail thieves, we the Villarreals have
gathered together to submit to you our annual report.

As most of you are aware we welcomed a new member to our family this
year. The new addition has brightened our lives in ways we never
thought possible, giving us a powerful sense of purpose, the assurance
that God has truly blessed us, and helps us feel as though we're truly
complete. We spend hours giggling and gasping in awe every day as we
stare at our new beauty as she blossoms and smiles back at us with a
sense of wonder.

Yes, I'm talking about the 47-inch 1080p LCD HDTV. Four HDMI inputs!

Oh yeah, and Jessica popped out another one of them - what do yo call
it - oh yeah, babies. Forget the name. Irma? Imma? Something like
that. You can forgive us for losing track because let's face it - that
TV is frikkin' amazing and we spend so much time watching it that
nothing else really matters. But still, little Izzy is important too,
so bear with us and we can dig up the birth certificate and get back
to you.

2009 was all about give a little, get a little. First, the bad: We
lost our dog, Goose, who in Luke's words, is "God's dog now." And the
economy hit us hard, with three of the four members of our household
remaining unemployed. Even worse, Obama's rogue, Marxist White House
tried to shove socialized medicine down our throats, threatening the
pristine system that allowed us the pleasure of spending half our
life's savings on hospital bills. Another tragedy, at least to
Jessica, was the publication of Phil's book, "Secrets of a Stingy
Scoundrel," (makes a great stocking stuffer!) the contents of which
embarrassed her.

On the plus side, DID WE MENTION WE GOT AN AWESOME NEW TV? Yep, and
the purchase allowed us to move our old 32-inch LCD into the master
bedroom. On top of that, we even bought a second PlayStation 3 (they
double as a Blu-ray players), so now we can even bask in the benefits
of high-definition entertainment without exerting the exhausting
effort of sitting upright.

Also, we're healthy and stuff, and are one of 27 Arizona households
not to have slipped into foreclosure during fiscal '09, so there's
that. We're so happy, we'd even be OK without that TV.

OK, that's a lie. Hyperbole, you know. The TV means everything.

Oh, and the daughter is Emma. Told you we'd get back to you.

The Villarreals

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