Why won't Boston teams lose ever?

The Red Sox won the world series. The Celtics are 19-2. The Patriots are undefeated. The Bruins have the second best record in the NHL's eastern conference. The Boston Hobgoblins of Major League Soccer have never lost a game (They don't exist, but still, they've never lost). How annoying. It's gotten to the point where I want Boston teams to lose more than my own teams to win. I may have to go into training and become a four sport professional athlete/owner of all pro franchises, trading myself from team to team daily and winning games personally in order to ensure all Boston squads lose their next 50 matchups. Only then will I find happiness in life.