There are certain things I can't allow myself to have, lest I resemble the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man:
Ben & Jerry's.
Wienerschnitzel chili cheese dogs chili cheese burger and chili cheese fries for $5.
Red Lobster biscuits.
Reese's peanut butter cups.
I love them too much and cannot be trusted around them. So I must gaze upon them from afar, shielding my stomach from their siren summoning.
That said, if the streets of New York ever rumble as the gargantuan creature pictured above roars through Times Square, you'll know I had a change of heart.
You just described everything that is good in the world. If you're going to deprive yourself of such treats, why even go on living??
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