Sunday, March 25, 2007

Interview: Optimus Prime

PV: Hi, Optimus. I didn't think you'd show up to this.

OP: Why is that, humanoid? My punctuality preceptors are set to maximum reliability, and my interview commitment rate is well above 99.5 percent.

PV: Well, it's just I thought you were dead. You know, from what Megatron did to you in "Transformers: The Movie."

OP: Sir, your discernment receptacle is highly suspect.

PV: I don't follow.

OP: That's robot for "Don't believe everything you see in the movies." The 2007 movie is also a fake. Besides, there is no way that little bitchicron Megatron could kill me. If he killed me in a dream he had better wake up and apologizicron.

PV: Wait, you're telling me the events in the film weren't real? I could have sworn it was taken from actual footage.

OP: My neurological sensors are detecting your sarcasm.

PV: Your sensors are off. I honestly thought your death really counted.

OP: The cinematic interpretation of fictionalized events having to do with me and the other Autobots were meant purely to factorize entertainmentcons.

PV: "Entertainmentcons"? What the hell are those? Tell me the truth - you just like to add the suffixes "-con" and "-tron" to random names. Such as your home planet of Cybertron, your enemies the Decepticons.

OP: Silence, fool, or I shall destroyicon you with my energy axe.

PV: OK, OK. I give. I have to admit, I do see what you're saying about me taking the movie so seriously. I'm embarrassed to say I actually cried when you died.

OP: As you can see, humantron, there is no reason to activate your ocular moisture docs. I am perfectly functional.

PV: True, plus there's no way your movie could have been real, since it was set in 2005 and obviously scientists had yet to develop flying robots that could turn into cars or spaceships.

OP: Yes, this is true with Earthling technology. You have also yet to invent sexbots. I feel sorry for you.

PV: Yeah. At least we have PS3s though.

OP: Trust me, I know PS3. PS3 was a friend of mind. And PS3 was no sexbot.

PV: Touche. Well, I've gotta be going, Optimus. Later.

OP: Stay black.

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