Sunday, October 14, 2007

Words to live by

Misfortune favors the bold.

If at first you don't succeed, sue.

"One in the hand is worth two in the bush" would make a good punchline in a porno.

When the going gets tough, the tough get owing.

Look before you leap out of the limo with no underwear on.

No rest for the wicked.

Early to bed and early to rise makes you miss out on the night life.

All work and no play make Jack a successful stock broker.

Cleanliness is next to an OCD diagnosis.

An Apple a day keeps Bill Gates at bay.

Children are meant to be seen, but not on ill-conceived Fox reality shows.

Winning isn't everything, but it will be once they finally get rid of the damn BCS.

You can't buy happiness, but you can borrow it from a payday loan place provided you don't mind the 300 percent interest.

The best things in life are free, but the Wal-Mart DVD value bin is still a damn good deal.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you're able to deny afterward that you used performance-enhancing drugs.

Music tames the savage priest.

All kids' toys from China are poison.

No comments: