Tucker Max talks

I spoke with "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" writer/producer Tucker Max. Here's what he had to say.

On his press tour to Tempe: "I was only in Tempe for seven or eight hours. I hooked up with two girls. It was nice. Tempe was ridiculous."

On what he looks for in a girl: "If a girl wants to hook up, she has to be cute, kind of. I do not want to deal with nut jobs. I have been doing this for seven years now, and I have run into more than my fair share of nut jobs. You just kind of learn to sit back and observe. It's pretty easy to figure out the basic components. I'm pretty good at sussing out crazy."

On what he thinks women want from him: "That's a really good question. It's f*cking weird. Here's the irony: I got famous by writing stories about hooking up with drunk girls who I absolutely do objectify. Now that I'm famous, all the girls who come to me to hook up objectify me worse than I ever objectified women. I've had girls literally roll off me and text over their phone, "OMG, I just f*cked Tucker Max." They'll steal a piece of my clothing and show their girlfriends. I'll f*ck a girl who will give me a script or something to read. I would never, ever sleep with a girl to get her to read a script."

On what's in his upcoming book, "Assholes Finish First": "It's mostly stories from the same era as 'Beer in Hell.' It covers ones I either didn't write up at the time or didn't put up for some reason or another."

On what it's like to pick up girls now that he's rich and famous: "There's a fundamental difference in going out and picking up a girl and having a girl come to you. Now it's not only do I not have to work for it, the question is 'who,' not 'if.' "

On how he's nothing like David Duchovny's character in "Californication:" I think that's very much an extension of Charles Bukowski. The Duchovny character is depressed, sad, pitiful and angry. I'm absolutely the complete and total opposite emotions. I'm all about happiness, joy and fun, all that kind of sh*t. We're totally polar opposites. Saying similarities exist between us with drinking and hooking up is like comparing 'The Sopranos' with 'Throw Momma From The Train.' "

On his detractors: "I just think I have to be grounded and self-assured. It never even occured to me I should listen to those people. Ninety percent of the criticism has nothing to do with me. They're protecting their own issues onto me. Why should I care about someone else's f*cked up life? I don't give a sh*t. Most people who don't like my stuff (and protest) are crazy. I think 'CSI' sucks but I don't, like, write blogs about it and protest it. What's so funny is the haters are obsessed with me. These people know more about me than my f*cking friends and family. When you hate something so much you're obsessed with it, it doesn't mean you hate it. Something else is going on there. These people are kooks."

On the actor who played him in the film: "He actually takes the character new places and is better than me because he's a lot more likable; a lot more redeemable. Friends will tell me, 'Due, you're not this cool. You're not this fun to hang out with. Dude, I would actually like you more if you were like that. You're just kind of a dick.' "