Here are the jobs, years and duration of employment, followed by the total amount made on each:
Construction worker for two weeks in 1994, $60
My mom's friend offered up me and her son to help haul discarded junk around a distant abandoned lot that the man she would one day leave her husband for had purchased. He fired us because he caught me relaxing when he pretended to leave but secretly watched us from the bushes.
Arizona Amateur Sports Monthly freelancer in the summer of 1996, $0
I wrote two articles about high school sports. Neither was ever published. The magazine lasted two or three issues, never to be heard from again.
Chick-fil-A employee for one day August 1996, $34
I was hired and put to work within the span of three hours, then trained for another hour and left on my own to run a student union restaurant for 10 hours. I quit the next day, for what I said were "personal reasons."
Saguaro International Speedway PR guy in 1997, $0
I went to a couple meetings, wrote some post-race press releases, then winced as the manager laughed when I asked if I would be paid. We never spoke again.
Hockeyinsider.com freelancer for two months in 1999, $0
I wrote a few articles about the Tucson Gila Monsters for this startup. I begged these guys for money, free hockey tickets, a poster, anything, but never heard back.