1. Pants pocket sweat destroys your old, outdated phone, giving you an excuse to get a new one.
2. The inside temperature of your car matches that of a kiln, making it easy and convenient to complete ceramics projects.
3. Air conditioning bills surpass your paycheck, which is great because Jesus said it's tough for rich people to get into heaven.
4. You get the tan of your dreams in just four seconds of sun exposure. Although five will give you both a third-degree sunburn and heat stroke, while six will incinerate you on the spot.
5. The feared Yeti decides not to terrorize your populace, being that he prefers snow.
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