1. Construction. I'm bad with my hands, don't follow directions well, don't like heat or cold and all the bending over and lugging heavy crap around would kill my back.
2. Car salesman. If I worked at a new car dealership, I would tell everyone to go away and buy a used vehicle, because it makes more financial sense. If I worked in used cars, I'd tell people to use Craigslist because the stuff we sell is overpriced.
3. Any job without a computer in front of me. Sure, I could check stuff on my phone, but it runs out of battery too quickly, isn't convenient and I need to stay updated on stuff.
4. Waiter. I would forget what people ordered and not respond well to rude customers. Also, I don't get how they managed to carry food or stacked plates without dropping it all over the floor.
5. Surgeon. My hands aren't steady enough not to unintentionally cut peoples' aortas and whatnot. Best to keep me out of hospitals altogether.