Wednesday, June 02, 2010

10 Things That Are Worse Than BP's Oil Spill

Sure, the spill is a horrendous, nonstop flood of awful that will not only destroy the Gulf of Mexico, turning it into a new Black Sea, but will surely eventually turn all oceans into something resembling a McDonald's fry vat, but it's not THAT bad. Here are some things that are worse:

1. Watching a San Antonio Spurs game.

2. Finding out your TV broken so it only plays NASCAR.

3. Waking up from a dream that your dead dog is back alive, and still is nice, not a
mean Pet Sematary zombie, then waking up to find out he's still dead.

4. Eating Cheerios. Without milk.

5. Going outside to get the mail wearing only your underwear then realizing you've accidentally locked yourself out.

6. Eating at Wendy's.

7. Forgetting to buy a copy of Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel.

8. BP drilling in the ocean and springing an endless leak of Vanilla Coke. Because seriously, think of all that wasted deliciousness!

9. A massively coordinated attack by the birds of the world.

10. The Golf Channel.

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