PV: Dude, I'm so honored to be talking to you right now. It's actually you, Yoshi! The dinosaur who lets Mario ride him like a pony! You're a hero, man!
Y: I'm not gonna lie. My body of work is pretty incredible and I can see why you're so overwhelmed. Super Mario World, Yoshi's Island 1 and 2, and my kick-ass career on Mario Kart can be pretty intimidating.
PV: Tell me, Yoshi, what is is that angers you the most?
Y: I hate it when people yell out the word "Yo!" when they're calling out to someone on the street, because I always think they're addressing me, then I walk up to them and they're looking at someone behind me.
PV: Yeah, that would suck. But I bet you get a lot of people mobbing you on the street because of your status. You must be living the great life.
Y: To me it's just a day job. My life is actually just like yours.
Y: Yeah, except I have more money than your entire family combined and I get to have sex with whoever I want to, whenever I want to, however I want to.
PV: You just put some disgusting thoughts into my head.
Y: I'm sure you're just jealous, which is understandable. I mean, I'm Yoshi, and you're just a reporter. I'm sick of you media types always hounding me for interviews, and then when I sit down with you you're so negative. It's like everyone wants a piece of me. I don't have the time to be dealing with crap like this.
PV: Actually, Yoshi, this is the first interview you've ever given. And I was sort of sandbagging at the beginning there, because I know you're one of the less popular characters in the Super Mario universe and I was just trying to make you feel better about yourself - you know, butter you up a bit to build a rapport.
Y: You mean you're not in awe of my presence?
PV: Not at all. You're like the fourth most famous person I'm talking to this week. This interview means nothing to me.
Y: (Sniffs). That's sort of mean. (Sniffs).
PV: I'm just joshing you, Yoshi. It's just that my friend bet me $5 I couldn't make you cry, so now that I've won and I've got it on tape we can just move on.
Y: That's just cruel. You play with a video game dinosaur's emotions for $5? What's wrong with you?
PV: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You have all these great abilities and you just waste them. Depending on which eggs you eat, you can fly or spit fire at enemies, and you never use them on your own projects. You're just Mario's stooge. Where's the self respect, man?
Y: What are you talking about? I have my own series of games!
PV: Yeah, but even in those you're still doing Mario's bitchwork, chauffeuring baby Mario and baby Luigi around wherever they want to go.
Y: Well, it's just that I'm loyal to those guys because, uh, I really like them.
PV: Be honest with me, Yoshi. It's blackmail, isn't it?
Y: They have nude pictures of me when I was younger, trying to make my career as a model.
PV: You can't stand for that kind of treatment, Yoshi!
Y: Hey, walk a mile in my shoes. I've got a reputation to maintain.
PV: I guess.
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