Thursday, August 07, 2008

My worst investments

-Comic books - Oh, wow, thought 14-year-old Phil. They're actually killing Superman! I'd better buy all the books in the series leading up to and following this cataclysmic event, for they will surely make me a millionaire by age 30! If by "being a millionaire," 14-year-old Phil thought "wallowing in tens of thousands of debt as the comic books sat in a goldfish aquarium box," well then, he was Nostradamus.

-Baseball cards - They were going to pay for my first car. Then when they decreased in value they were going to be heirlooms I'd pass down to generations to come. Now they sit at a bottom of a landfill, refusing to biodegrade. Thanks to their laminated sheen, the cards will still be there when WALL-E roams the planet with his brand of overrated silent comedy.

-Newspaper company stock - I actually broke even on this, so it wasn't a debacle. But had I stayed in for a few more months it sure would have been. I may have well have bought HD DVD player stock.

-A 2000 Chevy Cavalier - My first big purchase. After a 16-hour day of searching for the perfect car, I resorted to the demeanor of a drunken sorority girl at closing and determined to go home with the next thing that looked my way. I paid $16,000 in a deal brokered by a woman my age who was no longer working there the week after.

No comments: