1. Extra cheese. It's impossible to tell whether or not it's really there. I hope pizza makers punish people who order this by giving them less cheese.
2. Pineapple. This is pizza, not a luau. Get that crap out of here.
3. Anchovies. This is pizza, not a haunted aquarium of dead fish that still have their heads and bones intact. Get that crap out of here.
4. Chicken. You have to eat this garbage in 98 percent of your other meals, so you deserve a break when it comes pizza time.
5. Jalapeños. They improve almost everything, but pizza is the rare exception. Rather than enhance the taste of pizza sauce, they combat it.