Some people say there are no heroes. Other than Superman, who chooses to recline in the Fortress of Solitude playing video games and eating Funions and not come and help us out when our helicopters are crashing and supervilliains are leveling our football stadiums. Or Batman, who no longer fights crime and has resorted to a career in film.
I say there are heroes, and I'm not talking about firemen, police, paramedics, teachers or parents. (I am, though, as always, talking about your mom).
But the true heroes are UPS delivery dudes. Think about it. They wear spandex, can lift incredibly heavy objects and people are always happy to see them. They can zip from one corner of the earth to the other at incredibly fast speeds. Not only that, but they have supercomputers in their brains that can find out where any package is at any time.