Monday, April 14, 2008

Text messaging must die

It’s not that I don’t understand HOW text messaging works – obviously it has to do with the biorobonuclaic principals of cell phones, with the chrononucleaical transferation module that transports quadricameral nomenclature differentials from cell phone to cell phone – but rather WHY people would actually use text messaging to communicate in a timely manner.

Whenever I ask any texting addict why it is they spend hours using their cell phones to send IMs for the wonderful privilege of being charged by a shiny electronic nickel for each usage, or an unnecessary flat fee of $5 a month, they almost always respond with a dumb grin and a chuckle. They say, “I dunno! I just like it.” Hmm.

I’m no cell phone expert, but my research has shown phones are equipped with speakers which can be used for talking and hearing others talk. These speakers negate the need to use number pads to complicatedly type out messages. Text messaging on a cell phone is like walking on your hands. Sure, it’s possible; maybe even a little fun. But why would you do it constantly when it’s so much easier to walk on your feet?

Others try to rationalize, but can’t explain it any better than the dumb grin and chuckle. Some say they text because they don’t want to seem rude when they’re with other people. My reply to them is that staring at your obnoxious phone for the 10 minutes it takes to text “C U l8r at the bk str” is ruder than a 0.7 second phone conversation.

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