Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm glad I don't live in New York

Because I wouldn't be able to afford the rent. Dingy little apartments in crap parts of town go for more than I bring home in a month. If I ever had to live there, I wouldn't be able to afford sleep. I'd just have to stand in the street talk-singing "seven thousand nine hundred billion eight hundred thirty one seconds" or whatever it is they talk-sing in "Rent."

By the way, "Rent" in all its forms is horrible. I'm basing this condemnation solely on the movie, but if any of the songs or dialogue are also in the stage musical, I can authoritatively say that it's entirely worthless. The only good thing to come out of "Rent" was that it was so bad it got director Chris Columbus to stop making movies for the past three years. IMDB says Columbus is getting back on his horse and making another film, due out in 2009, but IMDB says that about everyone, including Screech and Urkel. Who, by the way, should make a movie together. I'd watch those guys in anything, except for a "Rent" remake.

I'll leave you with a quote from my 2005 review of "Rent."

The actors are now in their mid-30s, and some have aged more than others, making for the uneasy, mismatched, old-guy-at-the-concert effect. There's a moment in which Roger (Adam Pascal), the burnout rocker, singingly accuses Mimi of looking 16. She could have easily retorted, "You look 40."

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