Cokehead

Coke has this high school football themed commercial that plays before movies that shows a 1950s team taking on a modern squad.

The 50s team is stocked with skinny kids wearing pathetic shoulder pads. They're cheered on by well-mannered cheerleaders.

The modern team has players that look like they're sponsored by Nike. Their cheerleaders are anorexic gymnast strippers. The modern players are all five times larger, faster and smarter than their 1950s counterparts.

During the opening kickoff, one of the 1950s players tackles one of the modern players and everyone realizes that they are all equally good at the game, despite advances in equipment, anabolic steroids, school integration and cheerleaders' sex appeal. The 1950s player, a white kid, who makes the tackle helps the black modern player up, as if to show him that although his school has separate drinking fountains for blacks and whites, he and his teammates are ahead of their time and are poised to become civil rights activist in college.

I learned a valuable lesson from that commercial - it's not an advertisement for Coke as in Coca Cola, but coke, as in cocaine. Crack cocaine. I can't believe the DEA allows ads for crack cocaine to play in movie theaters. Amazing.