I'm reasonably sure that the malady I've been battling the past several days is swine flu. I have all the symptoms -- fatigue, sore throat, headache, fever -- save for the vomiting and diarrhea. (By the way, high five to my strain of the swine flu for choosing that symptom as the one to leave out). The self-diagnosis makes even more sense given that I am the only one in the household who came down with the flu, and was also the only one not to get an H1N1 vaccination.
Anyway, I didn't make a marked improvement until I ate a KFC Doubl Down. Which means by scientific decree, Double Downs cure swine flu, and possibly all diseases. Thank you, KFC. As video kills radio stars, you destroy H1N1.