Sunday, September 21, 2008

Ad nauseum

This new "I'm a PC" commercial that played on a continuous loop during TV timeouts in NFL games Sunday gives me one more reason to worship Microsoft and its marketing wizardry. The evergreen, gotta-watch-this-one-more-time, "This is Our Country" brilliance of the concept is enough to make me want to drop an iPod down a garbage disposal and run out to the store to buy an extra copy of Windows Vista to donate to the poor.

The topper, of course, is the mini-lecture from revered spiritual guru Deepak Chropra, who utters this profound epiphany: "I'm a human being. Not a human doing. Not a human thinking. A human being."

Wow. All this time I went through life thinking Chopra was a human thinking. Or a human doing. Human being was about the last thing I thought he was. Well, to be clear I didn't think Chopra was anything because I had never heard of him. But thanks to the assistance of my handy PC, I read up on Chopra's voluminous contributions to the world, such as his noble and daring backing of Zrii, a wonder-drink made of grape, pear and pomegranate juice (based on the same ancient Indian formula, stolen by Marco Polo, that inspired Capri Sun) that's a steal at only $30 a bottle and can solve all social, if not mental ills. To top that, Zrii is sold through that honest and virtuous method of multilevel marketing, which ensures that you'll never have to run out to a Circle K to buy yourself a case because a desperate friend or relative will deliver it to your house on a minute's notice in order to meet her month's quota and secure her rung in the pyramid of prosperity.

I hope Microsoft steps up this ad campaign, using it as a noble sword of heaven to strike down the demonic plague that is those snide Justin Long Mac ads. I just can't get enough of this commercial. I'd download it and replay it continuously on my computer if Vista didn't make my poor machine crash so often.

P.S. Vista crashes because of bugs and trojans made on the sly by Mac zealots to victimize free-thinking, PC-using human thinkings, um, I mean doings... Wait, what was that? Yes, BEINGS, such as myself and Chopra.

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