If there's ever a chance my greatest dream will come true and American Idol will be canceled one day, it will be due to the work of Ellen DeGeneres, who clearly knows exactly as much about music as I do -- meaning absolutely nothing -- and brings the show to a screeching halt whenever she opens her mouth.
It's not that it's a bad idea to have a comedian on the show, which could use a lighter touch. But instead of talking smack about the other judges and contestants and bouncing along her own zany wavelength, DeGeneres tries to get serious and use her limited knowledge and malnourished opinions to outdo Simon and the New Girl.
Thus I am convinced DeGeneres hates American Idol every bit as much as I do and is doing her damndest to undermine it from within and get people to stop watching it, thus ridding prime time of Ryan Seacrest once and for all.
For the record, I do not watch the show intentionally but I am exposed to it because I like to do my night typing on my laptop while seated in my favorite chair, a recliner located in the living room. Jessica loves the show and I let her watch it at night so she can delete it and free up some DVR space. I think all people who watch this show for whatever reason are disgraces to humanity. This of course includes myself.
Anyway, here's to you, Mrs. DeGeneres, for doing your part to destroy this malevolent cancer. She clearly knows what she's doing. She's landed herself a billion different talk shows, made herself into a pop culture icon despite minimal talent and landed a wife who is way, way way, out of her league. Keep up the good fight.