Sunday, March 14, 2010

When Left To My Own Devices

Through a twist of fate -- my sister in law's baby shower in Phoenix that coaxed Jessica to bring the kids and leave me at home -- I was left alone pretty much the entire weekend. Being able to choose when I wake up, what I watch on TV, when I play video games and where to go to eat gave me flashbacks to 2004, when I lived in my house alone.

I was expecting to get bored, but instead it was the opposite. I had too many things to do, and because I was so unused to planning my agenda on my own it was a little stressful. It was a little like what agoraphobia must be like, only with the panic replaced with copious amounts of God of War III.

Anyway, here are things I learned about myself when I'm alone:

-I stay up too late and don't get enough sleep. Seriously, Phil? You feel the need to stay up until 2 a.m. when you know the sun from that impossibly huge window in your bedroom will wake you up at 7?

-I eat badly. When nothing's standing between me and the Philly cheesesteak place across town I've heard of for years, it's bad news.

-Eventually I will get tired of playing video games. After only a few hours, too.

-My kids and wife do not prevent me from writing a new book. Laziness does. They're here, I think "you guys are the meaning of my life but I really should be get some work done." They leave and the excuse is gone, and I realize my brain's eyes are bigger than it's stomach and I spend all my time watching old episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

-People who work 50 hour a week jobs or less with no kids, or even just one kid, should never ever complain about being too busy. Your lives are cruising down Easy Street and you don't even realize it. I had a lot of stuff to take care of this weekend - 2 hours of weed spraying in the back yard, grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning the house in my halfassed style, but it was all way too simple because a 3 year old and 1 year old weren't tugging on my legs I was trying to do it. Also, since having a second child I've lost a little bit of respect and pity for single parents of just one kid. It's really not that bad if the parent-kid ration is equal. It's when you're outnumbered that things get crazy.

-I have the tendency to go outside only when absolutely necessary. I stunned myself by not going for a run Saturday when I had so much time to do so. I will today though, after I'm done writing this, or so I tell myself.

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