Wednesday, July 09, 2008


Every other car commercial ends with the words: “It’s got a Hemi.” Now, this bugs me not only because I don’t know what a Hemi is, but because the advertisers think Hemis are so important that they are compelled to make their advertisement meat puppets’ faces light up in ecstacy when they’re talking about the Hemi, as though Angelina Jolie was having phone sex with them.

What’s even worse is that the Hemi-madness has insinuated itself into society to the point in which some clues @holes have Hemi bumperstickers. Why, oh why, won’t those clever car sticker makers manufacture decals of Calvin pissing on a Hemi logo? I’d buy one.

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