10. A cliched format that saps creativity away from Letterman writers.
9. Hillary Clinton did one.
8. They lack the snappy abruptness of top 9 lists and fall short of the depth offered by top 11s.
7. Not enough puns.
6. See, bored already aren't you?
5. They don't come from Pixar.
4. They leave no room for that promising up-and-comer in the No. 17 spot.
3. I admit it, I couldn't think of anything else to do so I decided to beat on a straw man for laughs. Go ahead and leave now. You've already given me my page view for the day and I appreciate that, so let's do what's best for both of us and just move along.
2. Seriously, why are you still reading? Don't you have anything better to do?
1. It's part of God's plan.