Thursday, July 31, 2008

Things with no purpose

Blow dryers - Hello, they invented towels - which can't break or electrocute you if you drop them in a bathtub - for a reason.

Irons and ironing boards - Sure, sometimes your clothes come out of the closet wrinkles. But you know what else gives clothes wrinkles? Wearing them. Stop fighting nature.

Norton Antivrus - There are free antivirus programs online. You can make better use of the $20 you were going to pay Norton for the year on lottery tickets, stripper tips or origami tiaras.

Watches - You have a cell phone, right? Well, there's a clock on it.

Cufflinks - Cuffs need not be linked. They were born free and are meant to stay that way.

Weddings - Just as awkward and expensive as funerals only not as long-lasting and inexplicably voluntary.

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